The Nine of Wands card suggests that my power today lies in remarkable gratitude. I am not a victim. There are no lost causes.” “I’ve been there, done that, and know suffering — but it’s all good.” “I’m still standing.” “Can’t touch this.” “Self-pity is an excuse to do nothing. To appeal to sympathy for pity’s sake is to seek affirmation of the choice to do nothing. I am empowered by the spirit and support of meaningful experience and I transform with silent resilience.”
work is great, busy, great, busy, great, busy which is great. we just started showing the lines a little over a week ago and they are both selling like hot cakes [does anyone say that anymore?], we’re in the middle of designing 3/30 [summer] amidst everything else & not to mention the Funeral Parade Mag [due in Jan/Feb], getting the website going, & the wedding dress I am designing for a friend.
exhaus t e d.
i, at times wish i had a partner i could vent to, get advice from and a hug without necessarily asking for one, and lately i, at times.. feel a tad “on my own” - which is good.. independence is a great achievement & builds strength.. i just feel slightly, exhausted. [in a good way] - my complaints are not to be looked at as anything but a positive vent session. i’m just, may i repeat… a tad exhausted.
tonight there is a tug of war game with yoga or white chardonnay - i may have to plead the fifth and let you guess what i’ll be up to.
Goin dancin. Dancin away my blues.. My troubles.. My greys and worries. Eyes closed yet fully focused. Arms up yet not lifted. Beer in hand but not sloppy. Photos taken to one day bring nostalgia. ts weekends. We make history man, we make history. And no one gets us except for those who do and we don’t mind cause our boots were made for stompin.
I’m learning french. I’d like to move to Paris one day and open a boutique.. Hire someone to run it for me and come back. Just a year in Paris.. At least that’s the plan.
I’m in need of ‘ships not needin an explanation. Talking to talk. I hate small talk.. I have too many things to say to make room for inadequacy.. And honestly? I could care less half the time. Does that make me a bitch or just honest?
We get it.Sometimes I wish more would..But then again it would make people like us less adequate.
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery—isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”— Charles Bukowski
life passing by, moments ignorance as a blissful state of eloquence and i, forgot the motive, once upon a time that is.
i speak a lot of “forgotten moments”
cat power surrendering ears to a skipped record of emotion, motion, devotion.. unintended motives [ i could care less if you admire my thoughts i retired as that “modern day poet” pompous artists i hate poetry i hate it ]
i’ve got shit between my ears man and i’m dyin over here pause your life for clarity who are you, how did you get here? fallin victim to prayers being truth i, i.. i have found myself within you
no no, i have lost myself within you
..our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven..
Long crosses of misinterpreted love Judgment too quick to mean anything more than an Outside greed Music saves lives and it clings to me Hedonistic mindset fixating itself upon my character
angry and not ready to talk.. not ready to smile not ready to fake it up to make you feel better
House is upside when brought down too many words being left unsaid 3000 miles in the wrong lane and I left my heart back there man, i left my heart as if it were Road kill a child stares at with interest and tears [a self portrait in a sense] The realist sense
I’m not a poet, I write nonsense. We are all liars.
when presented with certain obstacles in life, especially those pertaining to “different personalities” - it may be quite difficult at times to “be the bigger person” or “learn to let go and move forward” - i am usually pretty good about this, but other times i simply want to sock someone in the face.. which is where my pops comes into play. he knows the right words to say, when and how to say it to get me to “calm my nerves” and think rationally..
"Let it go, life is short so enjoy the ride, don’t dwell on the stupid crap. Life is not about winning and losing it is about being happy in your mind, body and your soul. You are above that so act it. True beauty comes from within and you win when you have that and you lose when you don’t."